Every person who has once gone through the situation that I am about to talk about would know how painful it is to stay complicated and confused about who you are.
Complications related to your sexual orientation are tremendously hard to deal with, and the journey in itself is torture.
It is not bad; it is just torturing. And why wouldn’t it be? When you grow up in an environment where you have been exposed to a concept where you are allowed to be attracted to only the opposite gender, breaking through could never be easy.
The fear of rejection, abandonment, bullying – all of it hits you like a bullet train. I can confirm this because I have gone through the same. I fought with myself for three years before I could finally accept who I was from within.
For some, coming out is easy, while for some of us, it is not.
For us, coming out took a lot of effort and pain before we could finally decide to throw it out of the window and accept ourselves the way we are.
Now, coming to a gay test, I will definitely not be confirmed if they are entirely accurate as they work differently for different people. While some people have found the best results by taking a gay test, some felt that it was better for them to figure out that they were gay on their own.
So, without any more delay, let me throw some more light on what a gay test is and explore more on the journey of self-discovery.
What Is The “Am I Gay Test”?
Let me first mention that a gay test is not something you take at a hospital or a clinic, and a doctor would definitely not confirm if you are gay.
That would be pretty funny, wouldn’t it?
Jokes apart, a gay test is just another quiz available on the interest for you to take. There are multiple questions that you have to answer that will apparently determine if you are attracted to a man.
However, I cannot guarantee the accuracy of these tests; no one can actually. Any accurate information does not back these tests. They are fun to participate in. I have done it too. But then again, what test can give you a better affirmation than your own instincts?
No amount of tests can confirm if you are gay or not unless you are convinced yourself. You have to reach a certain level of self-confirmation before you take a test as such.
If you are at least not partly sure of your sexual orientation, you will tend to give wrong answers so the test comes out straight deliberately.
So, while a gay test is not completely wrong, you must not take it if you are struggling to accept your sexuality, as the test will mess your head up even more.
The Gay Test Quiz
If you are wondering what a gay test looks like, here are some of the questions that you might have to answer while taking a test.
- “Right now, what would you consider yourself?
- Were you ever curious about the body of someone of your same sex?
- You are currently dating someone of the opposite sex, and you discover that there is someone of the same sex who has strong feelings for you. You:
- Would you ever cheat on a person with a:
- You believe that people from the opposite sex were never interested in you because of your physical appearance. What do you do?
- Someone who is not your type asks you out. What do you do?
- Queer Eye is on TV!! What do you do?
- Have you ever seen an attractive person of the same sex, a handsome guy, and felt attracted to him?
- Have you ever attended a gay party?
- What would be your reaction if your best friend revealed to you that he is gay?
- Have you ever kissed someone of the same sex?
- Did you ever (or want to) wear clothes of another sex?
- How often do you fantasize or dream about a same-sex person?
- Will you be comfortable if one of your colleagues of the same sex flirts with you at work?”
These are some of the prevalent questions that you will find in a gay test. You may find more relatable tests to take at ProProfs Quizzes. Do not forget to check out their quizzes if you want to try them out.
Now that we have talked enough about a gay test, let us explore a little more about being gay and why there is no shame in having a different sexual orientation than others. It will only be fair if you are well aware of your sexuality before you invest your time in a gay test.
The Gay Awakening
A lot of us grow up thinking we are straight as a stick, only to later realize that we are not.
There are many ways by which you can slowly start realizing that you may be gay. A lot of people have confirmed that their “gay awakening,” as we like to call it, started with sex dreams with someone of the same gender.
Having a dream as such will be pretty tortuous at the beginning. You would wake up questioning every single thing you saw in the dream, and trust me when I say this: you will not be forgetting the things you saw in the dream anytime soon.
However, it is not a mandate that will always start with a dream. There are other factors like deep sexual thoughts or an intense attraction towards someone of the same gender as you.
But having such feelings is not an assurance that you are gay. This could only be a mere attraction. Sometimes, attractions are too intense to comprehend. Therefore, dreams or thoughts can never guarantee that you are gay or not.
Am I Really Gay?
Well, if you are here asking me this, then you have the answer already; you are just not ready to accept it yet. And that is absolutely OK.
Accepting your true sexuality is tough. We live in a so stern society that breaking through is hard. The walls are made so high that it takes every drop of our mental sanity to accept who we indeed are.
It is actually surprising how, after years of evolution, people are still so closed when it comes to an individual’s sexual orientation.
One of the biggest reasons why people get scared to accept who they are is because of the fear that is instilled in their heads since they were born, and we were never allowed to question such norms, either.
Why does it always have to be Barbie and Ken? Why can it not be Barbie and Barbie or Ken and Ken?
Maybe if we did, and our parents questioned it too, things would have been a lot more different than what it is today. Perhaps the world would then be a much better place to live in.
Am I Gay Or Bisexual?
Okay, this is a legitimate question indeed. Due to the lack of proper awareness, people sometimes tend to confuse being gay and bisexual.
While being gay means a man having both emotional and sexual attraction towards a man, being bisexual means being attracted towards both men and women.
A lot of people, while on their journey of self-discovery, initially feel that they may be bisexual but later on realize they are gay. This doesn’t mean that bisexuality is only a phase. Some people are inherently bisexual and remain the same for the rest of their lives. Just like being gay or lesbian, bisexuality is also a valid sexual orientation, and there is no debate about it.
Stories Of Coming Out!
Coming out is one the most brave decisions that you can ever make. Here are some stories from students of Harvard Business School that will give you the motivation and confidence that you are looking for.
Michael Brunman (he/him/his), Class of 2023 "When my six-year relationship ended in 2020, I felt distraught and lost. Growing up in a traditional, religious, and sometimes machista Mexican culture, this relationship allowed me to accept and embrace the relationship with the men in my life. I dared to love bravely and vulnerably in an environment where doing so is often taboo. Family is an important pillar of Mexican communities. After my breakup, I resorted to the love and support of my family, only to realize that the people who are important in my life, like my dad, did not truly know me. This was not a product of his lack of curiosity. I kept him at the peripheries of my life because Mexican men were often raised to mask emotions and shield moments of openness. Was I really a proud and openly gay man if everyone, except my dad, knew? My apá is a stoic man; he has never been a man of many words or emotions. Like many immigrant parents, his hands are tired, but his eyes are kind. Most importantly, his heart is filled with love. I never quite knew if there would be an ideal or convenient time to tell him. I never knew what to say to him. My dad was raised in a very different world than my own, but in this moment, I needed solace from the man who first taught me how to love. I ultimately decided to write a letter. I wanted time to carefully craft the words I would use. I wanted to give us both time to reflect and process. Selfishly, I wanted to spare myself from a potentially negative reaction. "I hope this doesn't change anything between us. I am still your son, but I'm gay," I wrote. "Te quiero, mijo." "Why would it ever change anything? You'll always be my son, and I love you just the same." “Te quiero también, apá"
Wasn’t that beautiful? A lot of us often feel scared to come out to our close ones for fear that they will not accept us the way we are. But how wrong can we be? Well, this is a clear example!
Patric Cao (he/him/his), Class of 2023 "The summer after graduating high school, I was 18 and curious about my sexuality; I decided to give myself seven days of freedom. I searched the internet for a place to connect with others my age who were also exploring. I found a well-known gay dating website where, for the first time in my life, I spoke with multiple guys my age and felt relieved to know that I was not alone. On the last day of my "seven days of freedom," I was invited by one of my new friends from the website to join him for a Saturday hangout and visit the LGBTQ+ youth center in Tel Aviv, Israel. I hesitated and stayed home that day. As I was watching the evening news, I learned that an anonymous murderer entered that youth center and murdered two of its visitors. To this day, he hasn't been identified or caught. Feeling that the gun had been aimed at me, too, I was scared and felt alone in this world. No one knew what was going through my mind these days because no one knew that I could have been there myself that night. While I was scared about the meaning of being true to myself, a few weeks later, I decided that it was a price worth paying and came out in front of my family and friends. I allowed myself to continue and live my life truly, not just for seven days. A few years after the shooting, I returned to that same center as a guide, helping other youth cope with the challenges of coming out of the closet."
Coming out is a personal decision, and people must come out on their own terms and not by force. It is okay to take your time. It is okay to not come out at all. Nothing else matters if you have come out to yourself and accept yourself the way you are!
Your sexual orientation does not define who you are as a person. It is only a part of you, and you must keep it that way to avoid any unnecessary mental stress.
Yes, it is easier said than done, but then again, you must not do anything that messes up your mental health. That is being toxic to yourself.
Coming to a gay test, you are free to take one only if you can promise yourself that you are going to be absolutely honest throughout and not give false answers. That ruins the entire purpose of the test. Be true to yourself first. Accept who you are. The world can wait.
Thank you for staying with me for this long. If there is anything else that you would want to add, please feel free to drop a comment below.
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