To be in love with a married man can have different dimensions. If someone sees it as too black and white, they will think it is wrong. Infidelity is a sin, and adultery is a crime in many states.
However, there is no denying that people fall in love with a married man, and sometimes it could be a once-in-a-lifetime love story or utterly unholy. Many might say it is between the married couple and the third party, but is there really a gray area in an extramarital affair?
If you have found yourself in this article, there is a possibility that you have either been called a mistress or a homewrecker, and the empty promises are the icing to your confusion. Before we get into the article, we would like to clear it out that this article is in no way condoning extra marital affairs, we are just showing both sides of the coin from a neutral point of view.
Is It Logical To Be In Love With A Married Man
Many might ask the question because in the haze of love, or very strong infatuation matched with lust, and you are constantly looking for signs that a married man loves you, it is tempting to leave the pragmatism behind.
When Is It Not Okay?
So, here are the times when falling in love with a married man or continuing to “live in sin,” so to say, is absolutely not okay.
1. If The Man Has A Bad Track Record
Is this their first divorce, or do they have a bad track record of divorces and quick affairs? This could highlight their toxic trait of jumping from one partner to another without dealing with their own problems.
For a man like that, you are just another number in their list of failed relationships and marriages. Yes, it sounds harsh, but it is better to accept the harsh reality than ponder what should have been. If he constantly refuses to talk about their past, it is better to carry forward with your investigation.
Stop looking for signs that a married man loves you, and look for data points. After all, your relationship is far from normal for you to let go.
2. All He Gives Is Vague Promises
He is having a hard time factoring you in their future in any real way. It is mostly vague promises and empty words. They refuse to separate from their wives, want to be a family man with them, and do not wish to leave your company either.
Seems like you’re in love with a married man who wants to have their cake and eat it too. Maybe you should look for signs a married man is sexually attracted to you. But you also have to agree that it is just sex sometimes.
3. If He Is Hot & Cold
If you have periods of perfect relationship scenarios, and ghost for the next few weeks, then they might be contemplating their decision as well. It is not difficult to come to a resolution when you absolutely want to be with someone.
Unfortunately, one of the reasons he has so many second thoughts is because somewhere deep down, he thinks it is a mistake as well. This is a cue for you to keep your options open with others.
When Is It Okay?
Sometimes cases can be different. Sometimes a marriage does run its course, and it doesn’t mean both parties are cursed to a loveless life. So, here are the cases when falling in love with a married man is ok.
1. He Promises A Future & Working For It
You will always find them talking about their future with you. Their promises are not empty, and they agree about the marriage’s condition without making anyone look bad.
He is genuinely in love with you and ensures to show it to you. If the divorce papers are already in order, and the ring is off, this could be a surety.
2. He Doesn’t Constantly Bad Mouths The Wife
If you are in love with a married man who constantly bad mouth the wife she is about to divorce if he values the relationship he had, especially if there are kids involved. Yes, there might be frustration venting from time to time, but they will not always blame the wife for everything.
If you are with a mature party who understands the reason behind the parting marriage, then you are with a quality man.
3. You Have Already Met The Kids
Generally, a man doesn’t feel comfortable with sharing their extramarital life with their kids. This could confuse them if the kids are not of a good age to understand the talk of divorce.
If a man feels comfortable with you meeting the kids, this could mean they trust you around the most important people in his life. If you are in love with a married man who doesn’t hide you once the separation is declared, you got a keeper. This could be one of the signs that a married man loves you.
Things To Know When You Are In Love With A Married Man
Falling in love with a married man is risky. Playing with fiend fire which can burn you in the worst way possible if things don’t go the right way, would be an understatement. So preparation is inevitable, and here is the harsh truth about an extramarital affair which you should be aware of.
1. You Might Not Be Their Priority
This is no secret that he might not prioritize the relationship over everything that is happening in his household. Especially when there are kids involved. Plus, until the man is divorced, he officially has a responsibility toward his wife. Which (we are afraid) doesn’t extend to you.
2. You Might Need To Have The Talk Soon
You cannot go on living in sin as someone’s mistress for too long. Yes, it is fun and games in the beginning, but being a mistress for the rest of your life is clearly not a life you would want.
3. Their Divorce Is Not Always Your Happy Ending
Soon after the divorce, there are not many financial and emotional repercussions. If you are in love with a married man and have high hopes of a happy ending post-divorce, hold your horses.
The man is probably going to be in a post-divorce aftershock. So, you might need to give them some space. Unfortunately, this space can also lead them to reconsider their relationship with you. Technically they are a free man now and in a very different headspace.
4. It Is Not Always The Wife
They might complain about the wife day and night and how she was the poison ivy that killed the relationship. Or how they put the last nail in the coffin, but if it sounds too good to be true, and that you two are star-crossed lovers, then ask a few questions.
A little suspicion for the married man you are in love with is always encouraged if you do not wish to be the sad party in all of this.
Always Look Out For Yourself!
Here are some more things to remember when it comes to married men.
- A separation doesn’t guarantee a divorce.
- Their kids might not always like you.
- Introduction to parents could call upon a cold war.
- You might be in love with a married man, but they might not be in love with you.
So, play this game very carefully!