Just broken up? Or have you been in the single pool for six months and wondering whether being friends with ex is a good idea?
Well, you have reached the right place!
However, to give a fair warning before we answer the universal question of whether you can be friends with your ex. We will be brutally unbiased with our expert opinion, so if you are someone who already decided to be friends with an ex to steer off other potential partners coming their way, you are not in the right place.
We will not agree with your notion to be their friend but rather provide you with quality advice to give you peace in the long run.
First, let us get the negative side discussed. As we all know, being friends with an ex is not ideal in many broken relationships. There are cases of toxic divorces where either of the partners doesn’t want to be in the other’s presence, but they have to because kids are involved.
So, if you are dealing with a bad breakup where your ex has done you wrong, cut all ties since you have the option because many don’t.
Here are some of the lost-case scenarios where there is no chance for you to be friends with your ex.
⦿ Your ex cheated on you, and you found out in the worst way possible, aka they were not honest and confessed it all.
⦿ Any form of an abusive relationship. Physical, mental, and sexual.
⦿ If they cause you mental distress, like increased anxiety or depression.
⦿ They have been arrested under a criminal case. (It is not uncommon). After all, you wouldn’t want to be a suspected anomaly to any crime.
⦿ A nasty divorce, and fortunately, there are no kids or pets involved.
These are some of the cases where you should absolutely cut ties with your previous partner. There is no place to ask if you can be friends with ex. It is better to leave the past in the past.
That being said, there are silver linings in many cases; here are the cases in which you could be friends with ex. These are some of the scenarios where it is safe to befriend an ex.
The love grew out due to time or a change of character, but the friendship didn’t.
Part of the same friend group, and you just gave dating a try. Yes, you wouldn’t be able to be friends with ex immediately, but after a few months, you can give the friendship another chance.
You broke off on good terms and are respectful toward each other. Once both parties are healed, friendship could be an option.
There is a big exception to this rule as long as you both are okay with seeing each other move on with other partners without any ounce of hurt. Because if it still hurts, then there is no point in torturing yourself by being their friend.
Here are the Dos and Don’ts to follow before asking if you can be friends with your ex.
⦿ Do respect their boundaries.
⦿ Do take time before considering friendship.
⦿ Do treat them with respect.
⦿ Do understand there is no romantic future, and everything is platonic from this point onwards.
⦿ Do respect their friends and future partners.
⦿ Don’t show concern about their current partners unless absolutely necessary.
⦿ Don’t force them to be your friend.
⦿ Don’t complain about the breakup while being their friend.
⦿ Don’t rush the friendship if either of you is still in love.
Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs):-
Not only is this subject controversial, but it is also heavily confusing. It is not surprising that people are always asking questions about being friends with ex, just to justify some of their actions.
These are some of the commonly asked questions answered by relationship coaches themselves.
Ans. If you see things black and white, then someone being friends with ex will seem like the biggest red flag. You might give up on the budding romance before it is able to bloom.
However, what if you are the one having a healthy friendship with your ex, and your current partner refuses to understand? Always look at the situation from someone else’s perspective.
Is the friendship platonic, where there are no romantic feelings involved? Or, the ex is a part-time partner, and the moment something happens with you, they will run to them for romantic support.
Judge, and analyze the situation and ask them logical questions before coming to any decision.
Ans: There is no reality in which you can be friends with ex you are still in love with. The rational thing would be to completely distance yourself from the situation. It should be an out-of-sight, out of mind kinda theory.
Before you ask if you can be friends with your ex, you better ask whether you are trying to hold the friendship because that is your last hope of proximity. Even if giving in to the temptation seems like a good idea right now, it will only hurt later.
No matter how difficult it seems right now, staying for a minimum of six months is the right thing to do. Post that time, or once you have moved on from the lingering romantic feelings and the sadness, you might give friendship with ex a chance.
Ans: There is no sure-shot formula to calculate the time to be friends with ex. Some might say it is six months between the date of break up. However, it is not a member you must renew, so give your own thought and state of mind a chance.
Make the decision based on how you feel about the situation and if it seems like a good idea for your future. You can always decide not to extend that hand of friendship.
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