Is It Okay Breaking Off An Engagement – 6 Signs You Should
The thought of breaking off an engagement is not just painful; it is borderline anxiety-inducing. It is far worse than a breakup since it is not just the partner but the family you are cutting ties with. However, even though jarring, sometimes it is a necessity.
Especially when you have that little voice inside you constantly reminding you that they are not the one and this is not the right time, these soliloquies do make you think how hard a divorce can be.
The comforting part is engagements do break. On the verge of the big day, people realize they are making a mistake, and you know the best part?
Life still goes on! In a few months or a year, you will be fine! So, if you are dealing with a tough situation, it may be time to rip the band-aid off.
Breaking Off An Engagement
Yes, it requires courage, but getting cold feet here might make you regret something for a long time to come. So, if you find yourself dealing with any of the signs we will be presenting later, it may be time to call off this engagement.
Try to be cordial with your partner, and prepare to be calm in the face of chaos because there is a high chance they won’t remain calm.
Signs It’s Time To Call Off This Engagement
We had spoken to individuals who had the courage to call off an engagement before it was too late. They have shared their stories, and we are glad to present these signs as an eye-opener to anyone dealing with the thought of breaking off an engagement.
1. They Show Less Respect To Your Family
Marriage is not just the next step of your relationship; with this institution comes the collaboration of two families. Yes, sometimes family poses a problem with the marriage, and it is your duty to protect your partner from any harsh situation that your relatives might create.
However, it is also important for your partners to have a sense of respect for your family. At least your immediate family, who are supporting you emotionally and maybe sometimes financially, deserve respect from your partner.
Just like your partner wouldn’t be too keen on tying knots with a family who doesn’t respect him/her, your family might feel the same if being disrespected. The first option would be to communicate the problem with your partner, and if the problem seems to persist and worsen, maybe it is time to pull the plug on this engagement.
2. Is Planning To Invite Their Ex (They Are Still In Contact)
If your partner still brings up the subject of inviting their ex to the wedding, especially when you have voiced your pure disdain for the idea, are you sure they are right for you?
Today they are talking about inviting thor past on the most important day of your life, but tomorrow they might go for a rendezvous with their ex, and you will be in the dark. Yes, there are a few things to consider about the “ex” factor before breaking off an engagement.
– Are they close friends with their ex, and was the relationship short-lived for a relapse of judgment? Keeping their friends away on their important day might be unfair in this case.
– However, there could be other cases where the relationship was pretty serious and led to deep mental scarring for both parties. Then inviting them could be stirring up an old pot, whose results are almost always chaos.
Before breaking off an engagement, ask them and yourself one question:
Do they still have unfinished business that they are trying to mask behind the engagement and the wedding plans?
3. Has Been Caught Lying To You?
A few white lies here, and they do not pose a big problem in any relationship. After all, we all have our lives and sometimes would like to keep some things to ourselves. However, if you find your partner constantly caught in a lie for the most mundane things, then there is a problem.
– Maybe there is a huge part of their lives that they wish to hide from you.
– Or, it could be something worse. They could be a pathological liar.
This is why investigating someone’s past relationship and knowing the person inside out is very important before putting on a ring. However, if breaking off an engagement seems like the right idea, you should go ahead and do that. Afterall, it is better to have a broken heart than a broken marriage.
4. Still On The Flirting Game
Once there is a ring on the finger if your partner is still trying to justify flirting with you, then we strongly suggest not going forth with the engagement. Is it okay to have a light flirting session with your gym trainer, office colleague, with a random person on a night out? Then why are you accepting your partner doing that?
Just because they are manipulating you to think it is harmless? News, flash! It is not.
If they continue with this ridiculous behavior then not only are you tying a bond of a lifetime with someone not right, but you are welcoming future problems. If this is the state now, what are they going to do when you show them your absolute raw self, which might not be so conventionally appealing?
You cannot be all decked and dolled up even after marriage. Where is the comfort of “good & bad” and “sickness & health.” Some individuals have a tendency to serial flirting, and they cannot stop. In cases like this, they do not need a wife; they need a therapist. If they fail to give up this habit which might embarrass them later, then breaking off an engagement (although difficult) is the right path.
5. Abuse Is On The Pages
Abuse is not always physical. They do not have to raise their hand on you for it to be called abuse. Here are the different faces of abuse that you could be ignoring.
– They could be verbally abusive by insulting every action or even direct, explicit slur words during fights.
– Emotional abuse can take place when your partner is constantly frightening you with threats. These could be emotional threats like leaving you, breaking off the engagement, or creating a scene when you do not listen to every demand.
– Sexual abuse is not something many talks about because the astigmatism of your partner demanding sex when you are not physically prepared is still prevalent.
It is time to call your partner out on all these abusive situations and not take them all on yourself standing down. If you are dealing with even one of these situations, it is time to call off this engagement and get your life back. Stop making too many excuses for them.
6. There Are Too Many Compromises
Sometimes we are so high and dazed with the sudden rush of dopamine which comes after an engagement that paying attention to yourselves gets difficult. When the initial high settles or the tough part of wedding planning ensues, we often sit and think about whether we are compromising too much.
Do you still have dreams to fulfill which require you to pay full attention to yourself and not start a married life? Maybe the thought of breaking off an engagement is not too outstretched.
Are you moving after marriage, and this doesn’t seem like the right step in your life?
Suppose there is a serious discussion you wish to have with your partner but fear that it would cause a nuisance to the happy situation. Do not force yourself to stay in a relationship because the invitations are out. Once the wedding is over and every other guest has resumed their own life, it is you who has to deal with the consequences.
Therefore, the thought of breaking off an engagement gives you more relief than the wedding planning. You know what you have to do.
Signs It Is Just A Cold Feet!
Yes, sometimes breaking off an engagement is the right thing to do. However, there is an opposite side to that coin as well. In the age of the internet and too many opinions, we are bombarded with signs it’s time to call off the engagement. As a result, we do start seeing things that aren’t there.
Now, do not take this as another false green signal to start giving excuses for your partner. But here are some of the genuine signs you shouldn’t be thinking about breaking off an engagement.
- It is the stress of planning a wedding that is giving you cold feet.
- Tying your relationship with another family who all have different thoughts and opinions is becoming overwhelming.
- You are nervous about the move and do not wish to leave your home.
- The money problems are creating a false illusion that this is not the right time.
All these above-mentioned problems can be solved with a little discussion with your family members, friends, and partners.
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