Is It Ok To Cry Being A Man?

A MAN CAN CRY AND STILL BE A MAN! PERIOD. It saddens me to witness so many men being discriminated for their ability to express pain. If you are here right now, reading through my words, surely you would have wondered is it ok to cry being a man? Let me assure you: YES, it is absolutely normal for a man to cry.

It is high time that society realizes that a man is, after all, a human. Just like a woman, they breathe, they walk and talk, they think and feel, and hence, they have every right to express their emotions and shed a few tears if they wish to.

For years, men have been subject to toxic explanations of “manliness” that society fed them. It is finally time for this to change.

In this article, allow me to explain to you why it is absolutely okay for men to cry and be expressive about their emotions. After all, they are human beings too.

Is It Ok To Cry Being A Man?

At times, I feel sorry to be a part of a society where an entire gender is compelled to believe that shedding tears would make them lose their masculinity. From a very young age, men are taught that it is the women who are supposed to cry. Men, on the other hand, are supposed to be strong. Regardless of their pain and suffering, they must not show the world they are in pain.

This is the ultimate rubbish that one can feed their boy child.

As a parent, you are not only taking away your son’s capability to express what he is feeling but also putting up a big barrier in his journey of emotional growth. Every human, regardless of their gender, grows physically and emotionally. Emotional growth is triggered by the ability to feel and express. When a child is constantly told that crying is, in fact, bad for them, they will slowly start believing it in the long run as well.

So, yes. Crying is okay for men.

Why Do Men Tend To Hide Their Emotions? 

There are many reasons as to why a man chooses to hide his emotions. Some of the most common reasons may include:

• Childhood trauma
• To come across as a dominant and strong male and assert his masculinity.
• Cultural veils and societal norms
• To bypass any unwanted repercussions
• To get more respect by staying rational rather than emotional
• Appear as a hero or a role model in society
• To have the image of being stoic and resilient
• To avoid the judgment of others

The Crisis Of Male Mental Health 

At this point, it is no surprise that male mental health is in a crisis. No one is ready to acknowledge it. While the world is busy entertaining the ideas of pseudo feminism, it is the men whose mental health is going for a toss.

In the UK itself, a staggering 115 people die every year due to suicide. What breaks my heart is that 75% of these deaths, are men. While these numbers are necessary to understand the severity of the problem, it is equally important to realize that behind this metrics lies the lives of sons, fathers, brothers, husbands, and friends. They are, in fact, real people. And there are families that keep on losing someone they loved deeply because of the increasing crisis of male mental health.

Stigma Of A Man’s Mental Health 

A lot of people would relate the unwillingness of a man to cry with the long existing culture of toxic masculinity. I oppose it. The issues that surround the mental health of a man are more complex and systematic, and stem from a number of societal and cultural factors.

As I mentioned before, from a very young age, men are taught to be brave and strong in emotionally complex situations. Little boys are taught not to cry when they fall down while playing or getting an injection from the doctor. While these kinds of sentiments are motivated to offer reassurance and comfort, they tend to socialize men into hiding and repressing their emotions at a crucial development stage.

This goes on to continue even when they are adults. This goes on to an extent where they suggest other men to “pull themselves together,” “man up,” or even “grow a pair” when they express their feelings.

Words like these have a deeper psychological impact on the emotional wellness of a man. And yet, society keeps on preserving and promoting this atrocious culture of bottling up feelings.

Consequences Of Emotional Avoidance In Men 

Suppressing feelings in the long term is toxic. Most cases of mental health issues in men arise from suppressing emotions. Anxiety, depression, and even loneliness are way more common in men than you can imagine. While women are still allowed to express their feelings, men are not. Hence, they really do not have anyone to share whatever they are going through. This is the reason why suicide is so common in men.

Emotional avoidance may also result in a number of unwelcome behaviors. When a man feels something and has no way to vent it out, they tend to channel it by doing destructive things. Men that generally go through these emotions have a tendency to funnel the emotions into behaviors that the society might accept, but are personally destructive. For instance, a man who suffers from sadness or depression is likely to get more aggressive or angry over the smallest things than cry.

When men are constantly taught that they need to conceal what they feel, the feelings would have to go somewhere, right?

Men tend to compensate for it by acting out in ways that they call “masculine.” This is exactly what we call as “toxic masculinity.”

It is tough to break once it becomes a habit.

The Bottom Line 

Dear men,

We are sorry. We are sorry for being so invested in ourselves that we never gave a second thought about how you feel. There might have been times where you were broken, and wondered is it ok to cry. Let me tell you that it is absolutely okay for you to express every ounce of pain that you are feeling.

This makes you a human. It makes you, YOU.

We, as a society, have failed to understand you. Having burdened you with so many responsibilities, we have forgotten where you stand in the world as a human being. We blame you for being toxic. We blame you for not being expressive enough, while we, as a society, are the reason why you are how you are today.

So, open up. Cry. Be vulnerable. Let the world judge you. Let them speak. But never let them take away your ability to feel.

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